Time, is on My Side

So you're pretty good at imitatin' the guns of the Navarone, but let's see how long it took.

To determine how long it took for you to pop your top we'll assume that you were tryin' to be the marathon man.

Usin' your Body Ratin' as a base time in minutes, subtract the number of successes she got from it. For example, let's say you've been workin' out and been teachin' yourself how to control your nuttin' action from happenin' too quickly, which will give you a Body of 4. Now she got two successes on her Fuck Test. Takin' your 4 Body and subractin' her 2 successes gives you 2, for 2 minutes. It took her two minutes to make you blow your top. Now for her.

We'll use your one little meager success, but we've got to determine her Body Ratin'. Now let's say you didn't pick some waif lookin' pixie, but got yourself a little hard bodied elf that's been workin' out everyday and eatin' her Dandelions like clockwork, that would give her a body of 5. Now we subtract your 1 one pathetic success from her Body of 5 which will give us 4 minutes. It took you four minutes to get her to reach her peak (you should start workin' out, man).

Now, I know what you're sayin', "But Mr. Lizard, I got mine at two minutes." Of course you did. The Lounge Lizard realizes that and has takin' that into account. This is where the roleplayin' comes in.

As two consentin' adults with some real perverted minds, The Lounge Lizard's goin' to assume you both know the basics from watchin' pornos or other partners. This just means that in between your quick fix and her "O" you were a gentleman and finished her off. But that's just The Lounge Lizard assumin' you're a gentleman. There ain't no written rules or laws statin' you MUST finish your partner off, you're lazy ass can merely jizz all over her belly and face, roll over and go to sleep. That means you forfeit your successes and she doesn't get to feel the Earth shatter. Simple as that. Like I said, that's all on the roleplayin', but The Lounge Lizard's always a gentleman when he gets the opportunity.

Now let's assume you really are a marathon man and you really want to keep goin', how many more pearl necklaces can you give her before you're tapped out?

NEXT: Star Me Kitten: